Worry is not our Business

“I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.” said Byron Katie.

We have control over our business. We have no control over anyone else’s business. We can only control the choices we make, the thoughts we think, and the actions we do.

A core tenant of nurses is to care about other people. We really, really want our people, our patients to succeed in their lives. But we still can’t control what they choose to do.

Nurses can easily indulge in worry. We are planners and doers and worry what will happen if we don’t do the thing the kids want, don’t be the best mom, wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, or employee we think others expect. Worrying is not the same as constructive caring.

We hide parts of ourselves to get along with all the people in our lives because we worry what they will think if we don’t do this or act like that.

But really, where does worry get us? Worry is all the thinking going on in our heads before an event happens, or doesn’t happen. Does it actually accomplish anything other than irritating the heck out of us and others?

In the history of mankind, worry has never accomplished anything. Nothing! That is why it is indulgent. Our brain manufactures “worries” to protect us from “threats”. What are you worrying about right now? Is it really a threat like a car about to hit you or a thought like “what if people notice I’m eating a salad and don’t eat that doughnut?”

Stop focusing on your worries. Be aware of your worries and keep them in perspective. Almost always they have no meaning unless that car is going to hit you! Dumping your worry list in the trashcan is so freeing! This is the business we need to tend to.

When we mind our business we do self-care for ourselves. By self-care I mean move out of the negative emotional spaces held by worry and into positive emotional spaces where we feel peaceful, powerful, grateful, and creative.

Byron Katie reminds us: “Just to notice that you’re in someone else’s business can bring you back to your own wonderful self.”

Our business this week is to work on self-care. Try replacing the non-productive sticky, nagging emotion of worrying about a thing in your life with an emotion that makes you feel lighter.

Ask yourself: are you are harboring worries about weight loss that are holding you back from doing the basics of weight loss and your own positive self-care?

Let’s have another great week!